Discord
What the default settings do
Discord opens up direct messages fairly widely by default. Anyone who shares a server with you can send you a DM unless you change that per server or set a new default for servers you join in the future. Friend requests are also open to everyone by default, meaning any Discord user who knows your username can send you a request without sharing a mutual friend or server.
Your activity status, what game, app, or music service you currently have open, is shared by default. This shows up as a status next to your name and feeds into the “recent activity” shown in friends lists and server member lists. Discord also scans incoming direct messages for explicit image content by default, though only for messages from people who are not your friends, and this scanning looks at media, not the text of your conversations.
On the data side, Discord uses your account activity by default to help develop and improve its own features, and separately to personalize things like recommendations and in-app promotions for you. Neither toggle stops Discord from collecting the underlying data, they only limit what that data is used for.
A reasonable privacy baseline
These settings are found across User Settings → Privacy & Safety, User Settings → Content & Social, and User Settings → Data & Privacy in the Discord app or on the web. Discord has renamed and reshuffled some of these tabs over the years, so if a setting isn’t where described, check the neighboring tab.
Direct messages and safety
Safe Direct Messaging → Filter all direct messages (User Settings → Content & Social)
Discord can automatically scan incoming direct messages for explicit image content and delete matches. The default tier only scans messages from people who are not your friends; setting it to scan everyone extends that same check to friends' messages too. This is an automated image filter, not a person reading your conversations, and it does not scan message text. It is also not perfect, Discord has acknowledged the filter does not catch all explicit content, so treat it as one layer rather than a guarantee.
Message Requests and Spam folder → Check periodically (Home → Message Requests)
Messages from people you are not friends with are held in a separate Message Requests list rather than dropping into your main inbox, and Discord automatically routes suspected spam into a further Spam folder. There is no simple toggle to turn this routing off, it is a standing part of how Discord organizes unsolicited DMs, but it is worth glancing at occasionally so you notice requests from people you do want to hear from.
Server Privacy Defaults → Allow Direct Messages from Server Members → Off (Settings → Privacy & Safety → Server Privacy Defaults)
By default, anyone in a server with you can DM you directly, even if you have never spoken. Turning this off changes the default for servers you join going forward. You will be asked whether to also apply it retroactively; declining means adjusting existing servers individually. Each server also has its own Privacy Settings where you can re-enable DMs for that server alone.
Activity and presence
Share your current activity as a status → Off (User Settings → Activity Privacy, listed under Privacy & Safety on older versions)
This controls whether the game, app, or media you have open is shown as your status in servers and DMs. Turning it off stops that broadcast globally, and also stops it from appearing in the "recent activity" shown in friends lists and server member lists. On some Discord versions, people already added as friends may still see your activity through friend-specific visibility even with this off, so it works best combined with being selective about who you friend.
Friends
Friend Requests → Off for "Everyone," leave "Friends of Friends" and/or "Server Members" on as needed (User Settings → Content & Social → Friend Requests)
By default, anyone who knows your username, or shares any server with you, can send a friend request. Turning off "Everyone" means requests can only come from people sharing a mutual friend or mutual server with you, depending on which remaining toggle you keep on. This cuts down on cold requests from strangers without cutting you off from people you actually interact with.
Data and personalization
Use Data to Improve Discord → Off (User Settings → Data & Privacy)
This toggle governs whether your usage data is used to help Discord develop and refine features. Turning it off limits that use, though Discord still collects the same underlying data regardless of this setting, it only affects what the data is used for afterward.
Use Data to Personalize My Discord Experience → Off (User Settings → Data & Privacy)
This separate toggle controls whether your account-specific activity is used to power recommendations and personalized promotions shown to you inside Discord. Turning it off means you see less tailored content, but as with the setting above, it changes how your data is used rather than whether it is collected.
Trade-offs
- Turning off “Allow Direct Messages from Server Members” means people you have not friended cannot DM you even from servers you both belong to, which can feel unwelcoming in communities built around organic DMs.
- Restricting friend requests to “Friends of Friends” or “Server Members” means someone you genuinely want to connect with, but who shares no mutual server or friend with you, will not be able to send a request until you add them another way.
- Turning off activity status removes a small social signal that some friend groups use to coordinate, such as seeing who is currently in a game.
- Setting Safe Direct Messaging to scan all messages, including from friends, adds automated scanning to conversations you may consider fully trusted.
- Turning off the data personalization toggle means recommendations, suggested servers, and in-app promotions will be less relevant to your actual usage.
- None of the Data & Privacy toggles stop data collection itself, so they narrow how information is used rather than eliminating Discord’s visibility into your activity.
Who should not change these settings
- If you rely on Discord DMs to coordinate with people across shared communities you are not formally friends with, keep server member DMs open.
- If you are active in servers where being easy to friend matters, such as gaming or fan communities built around making new connections, leave friend requests open to “Everyone.”
- If your friend group uses activity status to coordinate play sessions or find each other online, keeping it on serves that purpose directly.
- If you mostly talk to close friends and are not concerned about automated scanning of that specific traffic, the default “non-friends only” scanning tier is a reasonable middle ground without changing it further.
- If personalized recommendations and promotions genuinely help you find servers or features you use, leaving the Data & Privacy toggles on is a fair trade for that convenience.